Love! Please STOP Apologizing For Who You Are!

Have you ever caught yourself shrinking in a room, playing small, or filtering your voice just to keep the peace?

This episode is for the woman who’s done the healing work but still feels held back by the remnants of trauma, over-apologizing, and chronic people-pleasing. You’ve made it far, and yet… something still tugs at your confidence when it’s time to show up fully as you.

In this private episode, I go all in on what it means to live unapologetically aligned to stop letting others dictate how you love, how you worship, and how you give.

We’ll unpack:

• The 3 root causes of over-apologizing (and how to break free)
• The difference between survival mode and emotional freedom
• Why living “quietly” doesn’t mean living small
• How to build boundaries without guilt
• And what true self-trust (rooted in God) really looks like

You’ll also hear stories from my clients who are breaking generational cycles, reclaiming their feminine power, and rising into the magnetic leaders they were born to be.

Plus, I’m giving you a 24-hour self-challenge to help you stop shrinking and start showing up fully right now.

This is spiritual, emotional, and cognitive reframing at the deepest level.

So if you’re ready to release the conditioning, reclaim your space, and step into a life that aligns with the woman God created you to be...press play.

Your next breakthrough might be one bold breath away.

Would you like to join a community that helps you transform at your pace?

 Join Radiant Rockstars Membership

Ready for Deeper Level Support?

Apply for 1:1 Private Coaching

Transcript

 Stop letting other people dictate how we love worship and give.

Today's topic is based exactly on that. Stop apologizing for who you are. The women who come to me are struggling. They maybe have worked through a lot of their trauma already, and yet there are still some vestiges of it that they're just not able to break free from.

It disconnects them from their goals in life and from being at peace with who they are. Does that sound familiar? Does that sound like you? Well, I'm here to tell you that you can break free from all of that and find inner joy and peace in being unapologetically you. Isn't that beautiful?

I work with incredibly strong, spiritually strong women from all over the world who are dealing with life's issues problems and trials that they never would've thought that would come on their plate. And yet they're rock starring through it.

It. They're working through it as rock stars. They're leaning heavily on their Bible principles guidelines and our wonderful God, they're also breaking free from trauma stereotypes so that they can be at peace even through their trial at a deeper level.

Because let's face it. The world needs more mental peace and clarity, and that's challenging to find when we've carried the weight of our trauma on our shoulders for so long, it affects our mental and emotional health. Thank you for taking the time to spend with me today.

That tells me that you want to create awareness and understanding. How many times have you had to apologize for just being yourself?

Have you ever felt when you walked into a room that you feel smaller than you don't wanna be there? Sometimes we attach that to introvert, and it's true. Many of us like to recharge in the quiet, myself included, could that be a deeper issue that you may not be seeing in yourself? Instead of stepping into a space and owning where you are and leaning into your healthy feminine energy, you clam up or feel uncomfortable.

Don't even show up because anxiety and frustration overwhelms you.  For years, I personally thought I was keeping peace, and I thought that keeping peace. Meant that I was actually healing, when in fact I was stuck in survival mode. Does that sound familiar? Have you ever felt stuck in survival mode, shrinking back, people pleasing and filtering yourself just to stay safe?

Have you felt that way? You think about being a chameleon? Figuring out the room and then stepping in and trying to be a part of that room instead of stepping in to be who you are. That's not true healing, that's survival mode.

What's happening behind the scenes is that you've been conditioned to believe that playing small. Keeps you protected, but in reality, it keeps you stuck. For the women in my spiritual community, you know who you are. Let's make it clear.

Playing small and being humble are not the same thing. I think about the fundamental principle in one Thessalonians 4 11, 1 of my favorite principles to live by where it says, to make it our aim to live quietly and to mind our own business. Think about what that actually means.

So many times we miss read that scripture. We misread that principle into thinking. We stay small, we stay protected. We don't get involved in things. That's so far from the truth. It does not mean not taking up space. It does not mean shrinking ourselves or playing small in our life, not stepping into things that we love because we're so afraid to do so.

That's not what that principle means. It means at its core, it actually means learning to live a life where we create boundaries that are healthy for us, to protect our life and our joy. But we also respect other people's boundaries. By minding our business and not getting involved in other people's affairs without them wanting us to.

Trauma keeps us messy. Trauma keeps us stuck. Trauma keeps us doing things that are uncomfortable to other people more than they are to ourselves, like having to be in the middle of everything. Have you ever heard of fomo? The fear of missing out trauma keeps us in. Fomo always wanted to be involved in everything that's going on because that's a way for us to stay safe.

But what's really happening is we're not learning how to mind our business. We're not learning how to live within our own boundaries because we don't have any.

A woman who starts to heal and transform will naturally build boundaries. They will naturally happen when she starts to get to the core of her problem, the core of her trauma, the deeper layers, it helps her to break free from those things, right? So in effect, we tend to over apologize because we haven't set those boundaries for ourselves.

So we don't know what other people's boundaries are because we don't have any for ourselves. So we don't live quietly in that, way we're constantly doing things that are so inappropriate. We're going into places that are inappropriate. We're loud and obnoxious Sometimes. I can see a woman who's struggling within her because she has to be the biggest person in the room sometimes.

That is not what living unapologetically means. The opposite, the other extreme is somebody who always has to be the quiet one, right? Those are not our true selves. A person who heals know how to step into a room and not take up so much energy from other people that she constantly needs attention or the vice versa, where she doesn't feel like a little bit of attention will push everybody else away from her, right?

So it's a matter of balance, right? I love observing people, and I can tell almost immediately when somebody is at one extreme or the other, because emotional immaturity plays a part in both of them, and they're not free emotionally. There's no emotional freedom, and that's always my goal with my clients and my community emotional freedom.

What does that look like? Let's go into the three things that stem. From us over apologizing one. Childhood conditioning. Have you ever heard, I've seen this so many times and I've heard this in my own life. Be nice. Don't upset anyone. Don't be difficult. Don't be too much. Stop asking questions.

You don't belong that. Don't need the answer to all of these things, right? Childhood conditioning. The other day I was in a grocery store and I watched a mother with her child the way she spoke to her child, the disrespect she gave but then she expected her child to respect her double standard much.

It happens all too often. So then we grow up to be adults who over apologize for everything, right? Because we don't know our own boundaries. We don't know what's respect and what's not and then we get into this uncomfortable situation. Right. So that's number one. Childhood conditioning, what was your childhood like in the beginning?

When women come into my space and start creating awareness, one of the first things they say is, oh, I don't have any trauma. I've never had any trauma. Stick around a while. You'll start to peel back those first layers. And realize, oh my goodness. But you can bypass that by asking, what was my childhood like?

The next one is a trauma response. People pleasing has survival fawning that one person who has to flatter everybody with their words. Why? Because they're fawning. It's a drama response. Right. And when my clients start to fawn with me, I say, oh sweetie, we don't need to fawn. That's not necessary.

Let's work on the core issue of what that is for you, because fawning is a trauma response and over apologizing. That's a trauma response, right? People pleasing. Did you know that people pleasing is actually incredibly manipulative. We're not being nice. We're being manipulative when we people Please.

Psychologically speaking, it's a trait that helps us to be protected we think we're doing well for other people, but we're actually manipulating them into trying to, feed something into us because we don't, we lack that within ourselves. So we, people please, we reject our own identity because we don't understand what our identity is.

It's a trauma response. So then we over apologize. That can be the difference between true humility and mock humility. So what does that look like for you? Are you a people pleaser? I'm a recovering people pleaser. I'm actually to the other extreme now where I'm like, I don't, you know what?

It's not my responsibility to fawn you. It's not my responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. That's your own responsibility, and that's why I'm able to coach my clients to do the same. . That's the second one. That's a trauma response. The third one is a fear of rejection. We over apologize because we are afraid of being rejected, and that is a core childhood trauma response.

That belief, that authenticity, risk abandonment. If I become the person who I really want to be, I'm gonna lose my spouse. I'm gonna lose my friends. I'm gonna lose my family members. Well, here's the real, here's the reality. One person will never lose is our wonderful God's approval because he gives us so much space within his structure and guidance.

He is not restricted. The world around us is restrictive because of its limitations. He's not limited. They are. If we lose our friend. Our spouse, our family members and we have God's approval, then really in effect. So what? They weren't ours to begin with. And this is happening more and more.

I can't tell you the amount of women that come to me who are losing. Their relationships because they've rejected their own identity to please their mate. And they realize that their mate has more trauma than they even know what to do with, and they don't know how to work with that.

I work with them within the confines of that first. But if their mate chooses to leave one Corinthians seven 15, if their mate chooses to leave. One Corinthians seven 15, it's a beautiful scripture. So what's the cost? What's the cost of over apologizing? Because everything has a cost, and it's not always monetary.

The cost is chronic self-doubt drained energy. Never feeling fully seen.

Feeling seen is a scary thing for those who are fighting through their trauma. But let me tell you, once you start to feel seen, most importantly by him, because he can already be wanting to love you. He can be already wanting to pour himself onto you, and you are limiting yourself because you don't see yourself as worthy enough for his love before anybody else.

When you start to live unapologetically like you, wow, what a deeper relationship unfolds. Because now he's like, all right, 'cause he will never, force us to do anything we don't want to or are too afraid to do. But we can also be limiting ourselves to the power that he gives us too.

Within that, and that relationship can start to go deeper and deeper. And once that relationship starts to go deeper, you're going to see your relationships around you change on a different level. It's a beautiful thing. First and foremost, understanding.

What's the power behind being unapologetically you? Let's talk about that for a minute. One, magnetism and inner confidence owning your truth. That truth that you've worked so hard to build within you attracts aligned people and opportunities. And this is for life and business. I work with coaches as well

most of the time, coaches are not growing in their business because they are stuck in their own trauma. They're holding onto the weight of stepping outside themselves, and we attract people to the level that we are. I hear this a lot from some coaches. I attract a lot of drama.

Or I'm not attracting the right people. Well, are you the right person for yourself first, because life and business connect. Number two, emotional freedom. There is nothing like it no more overthinking or filtering yourself to be accepted. If you are starting to feel that imposter syndrome, that inner critic, that wells up in your mind to keep your mind safe, that's actually a really good thing.

And you can do one of two things. You can shrink back and say, I'm not doing that. Or you can step into it and say, this is me breaking outside of myself and creating space and freedom for myself. But that's easier said than done. How do we do that? You wanna learn more?

My membership is really good for you. Hop into my membership. My Radiant Rockstar is transformation. Membership. I have weekly coaching on so many, so many different topics for the everyday woman, strong spiritual woman, and for coaches and entrepreneurs and all the women out there who are wanting to step into their true identity. Find the link in my shownotes.

I've had so many women that I've worked with that have said. You know what? I've always wanted to be creative. I wanted to create a business for myself, and they didn't know where to start. Once they started working on their deeper level trauma, they've stepped outside themselves and they've actually created businesses for themselves.

How beautiful is that?  Emotional freedom allows you to do that because you stop overthinking and you start doing, become a doer of the work, not a hearer only, three stronger boundaries. No is a complete sentence. We don't need to explain anything to anyone. Love allows us to do that to the ones we love if we feel up to it.

But other than that, no. This is how it usually sounds with me. Thank you so much for thinking about me. That's not within my capacity. No. You stop seeking approval and you start living on the terms that you have cultivated by learning to understand who you are. Stronger boundaries. I'll give you an example.

There's a woman that has stepped into my space. She started in my membership and we are now working one-on-one together, and it's exactly the right time for her because her breakthroughs. One after the other. One after the other. One after the other. Something has come into her life that has forced her to step outside of herself, and she is now in a.

In a position to take ownership and reclaim her rockstar status, and she is doing it she's relying heavily on all the energetic work she has learned the cognitive training and the reframing that I'm working with her on. She's leaning into her oils more fully and it's moving her into action, not complacency.

Because she's learning to stop seeking the approval of everyone else around her. She's learning to live on the terms that she has cultivated by being able to understand herself on a deeper level that is powerful, and every day is a new breakthrough. And she's like, I can't even believe it.

I can't even believe it.  I have so much  evidence, so many case studies. To prove once you are ready to elevate, you will stronger boundaries. And the fourth one, unshakeable self trust. This does not mean independent trust from our God.

Let's put a disclaimer out there for those of you who wanna go ahead and fight it, because there's always a few that wanna fight over words and debate over words. Self-trust. Is built on God's trust. How can we trust anyone if we don't learn how to trust ourselves? And in turn, trust God.

Do you know how many who claim to be spiritual? Women do not trust God. They're too afraid to step into the life God has given them. So self-trust means no more second guessing. But fully embodying the power and capability that was is within you to be like the faithful women of old like Abraham's wife, Sarah, Rebecca, Abigail, Esther.

These women were powerful and they stepped into situations because not only did they trust in God's power, but they trusted in their own ability to trust God. And themselves to step into that situation. They didn't second guess. They stepped into their full power and were able to work through it.

So ask yourself, where are you in your life? Where are you over apologizing in your life for being yourself? What does that look like for you? If you feel like wanting to share this, feel free to share it in the comment section.

Transparency moment. It's taken me years to get into this platform and tell you who I really am.

I step in here for you, principled, spiritual, spiritually strong woman, the one who's developing a voice, the one who's starting to stand up for herself.

Sometimes we misread what that is for us as God's true people. It took me a long time to stop apologizing for who I am and for being myself so that I can be here for you. Women stream into my membership for that reason. You come into my space for that reason.

And when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. But the beautiful thing with me is I know who I am and the God I represent, and nobody can tell me otherwise. And I'm able to step into uncomfortable spaces. With other people because they're not gonna change who I am because there's two non-negotiables in my life.

My relationship with the true God and my connection to his true organization. Everything else is refinable, people included. That's why I can be here for you as your coach. So here's a challenge for you. For the next 24 hours, catch yourself when you shrink and over. Apologize. I want you to pause, take a deep breath

Step into your space. Own it. Try that for the next 24 hours. Come back and tell me how that works for you. It's scary, it's uncomfortable. It makes you go, Ooh, but you know what? That's where the growth is, baby. That's where the growth is. You wanna grow, you wanna elevate. You wanna be that person who's courageous in a room full of people to be who you are authentically to live your identity authentically.

Then step into yourself and stop apologizing for who you are because you're already loved. You are already approved. You know who you are, he loves you, and he's waiting for you to stand up for you. Oppose the devil. And he will do what? Flee from you. It takes courage to do that baby.

So wanna go deeper? Wanna join a tribe of women in a community who are learning to do that every step of the way? I challenge them. Several times a week I challenge them.

We're all there to support and encourage one another.

 📍 Check the show notes And you Will get the link for joining my transformation membership.

Remember, your voice matters. You belong, and it's time for you to own it.

Beautiful souls. Does it resonate? I'm here for you all. Love you . Remember, you are a rock star.